Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum: Navigating Relationships

approx read time: 5-10mins

Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum has been a very popular drama recently! The drama shows quite the extremes of a healthy and unhealthy relationship and in particular, resonates with the younger generation. As the title itself highlights; a relationship is about compromising with one another in order to create a lasting relationship. We have Adeel & Rubab who are egotistic and materialistic individuals tied down together in a marriage for all the wrong reasons. On the other hand, we have Sharjeena & Mustafa who are the definition of opposites attract! Let's take a closer look at these two jodis and dissect the qualities of a healthy and unhealthy relationship...

Adeel - Rubab

Right, now let's break down how multifaceted Adeel's (Emmad Irfani) and Rubab's (Naeema Butt) characters and relationship with one another really are...

Adeel (Emmad Irfani) as an individual at the start of the drama really had me unsure of his real motives for marrying Rubab (Naeema Butt). However, over the course of the drama, we can see the complexities associated with the character which has been portrayed flawlessly by Emmad Irfani! Adeel probably didn't actually ever see Rubab as someone he'd ever be able to marry, so when she expressed interest in him he definitely saw her as a ladder for elevating his own social status so played along with this. He's become a real opportunist in (somewhat) maintaining a relationship with Rubab. We can now see him delving into Rubab's company's finances behind her back and also using her as a trophy in front of his parents to gain back the 'favourite son' title after leaving his dad's house in early episodes. Adeel now is actually seen to be enjoying life off of Rubab financially and her friend emotionally. How self-centred and egotistic can one be that he is now basically cheating on Rubab with her friend? He's really getting his way and using both women as and when he pleases! Oh and ON TOP OF THAT he's still seen to be prideful in his attitude in front of Sharjeena and Mustafa when he's really actually envious of their healthy relationship! 

Rubab's character has evolved as borderline psychotic (and she's portraying this well!) since she's been living at Adeel's parent's house. Wait, why is she still even here again? Oh because she fears that Adeel might fall for Sharjeena again- this really shows Rubab's insecurity. After showering Adeel with her money and lifestyle and after him having rejected Sharjeena specifically for Rubab she is still practically clenching Adeel's hand in the relationship fearful of him swaying any other way. I really don't understand her motives around preying over Sharjeena and Mustafa's relationship- I think she's just always trying to show her own importance and how she 'stole' Adeel from Sharjeena and 'won'. However, whatever she says really has no effect on Sharjeena as she's completely over Adeel but Rubab doesn't like the fact that Sharjeena doesn't feel inferior or belittled by this. 

Now let's talk about Adeel and Rubab when these two self-centred individuals are bound in a marriage together. You'd think that they are practically 'living the dream' as Rubab likes to boast about him like he's an object only she has control over. Unfortunately, this can also be seen in their relationship dynamics the way she treats him and speaks to him as if he is below her. They are continuously lying to one another and going around presenting themselves as fake happy. Not everything that glitters is gold...and this relationship is just that. They say money can't buy happiness and well it's evident in this relationship. Both are trying to boost their own ego and put on a facade to the world and it's actually quite sad how long they are dragging each other in this relationship. Rubab has to force Adeel to look at her when speaking and Rubab herself I don't think has ever done anything loving for him. Her buying a car for his parents is just more of her showing off her money to look good in their eyes and this unfortunately seems to be working on Adeel's parents. 

Mustafa - Sharjeena

Although Mustafa (Fahad Mustafa) and Sharjeena's (Hania Aamir) relationship started as a compromise rushed marriage; their relationship has blossomed into something inspirational and relatable for the younger audience. They tied the knot to each other on the basis of mutual friendship but you can't help but notice how they are probably the perfect example of a working relationship where opposites attract! Mustafa has been living carefree with no responsibility as an overgrown child of the house which can be seen by the state of his room. Sharjeena on the other hand is quite mature and likes to keep things in order so she simply can't stand Mustafa's messy lifestyle. However, over the course of the drama Sharjeena helps Mustafa navigate himself into becoming a more responsible individual to make the relationship work. They are the purest examples of making compromises in a relationship work for each other. 

They may not have much financially but they are happy living in their own bubble creating their own chemistry that starts off as friendship. We were surprised but happy to see when Mustafa took the blame for the car incident for Sharjeena on his head; knowing how his mother would overreact. This was just something small but cute to see from Mustafa's side as it was unexpected. I loved when they were hanging the washing together and had their own fun doing this showing that it really is the small joys in life! Also breaking stereotypes that men can't help around the house. My favourite scene though was when they went for pakorey in the rain! Their relationship highlights the importance of friendship as the foundation of marriage which then grows into being supportive of one another but also respecting each other's differences and personal interests.  

Naturally, we all got upset when there was a misunderstanding between Mustafa and Sharjeena and she left the house. This highlights the importance of not letting any third person stand in between a husband-wife and not believing anything you hear from anyone else. Mustafa and Sharjeena never expressed how they felt about one another so Mustafa easily was made to believe what he overheard from Adeel (Emmad Irfani). There were a few days that went by where his attitude was off with Sharjeena and he never tried to speak to her or ask her what she thought of him. The days went by when Sharjeena left to go stay at her parental house but it was heartwarming to see how they missed having one another and how they had adapted to living with each other. All in all, it was a good lead-up for Mustafa and Sharjeena having their pyar bhara reconciliation which I think broke the internet crossing over 15 million views. 

In the last few episodes, we see how Sharjeena and Mustafa's mindsets and priorities differ when it comes to welcoming a child into their relationship. I think both are right in their own way but there was no balance or clear communication of things. Mustafa felt under pressure when he found out Sharjeena was pregnant but also used this as a drive to want to financially provide better for his now-growing family. However, he just went a bit too far into this ignoring Sharjeena's emotional needs. The time during pregnancy should've been memorable and brought the couple closer together in sharing the happiness, excitement and duties but Mustafa seemed to have forgotten totally about Sharjeena at this point. However, I think this was also part of Mustafa's character growth when it comes to responsibility, at the start of the drama it took him a lot of time to understand the need to make a relationship work as a husband so naturally I think it's expected that he was confused on what other responsibilities and expectations were needed from him as he moves into the new role of father.

In the last episode, I think the most important takeaways from Sharjeena and Mustafa's relationship were definitely communication is vital and accepting one's mistakes. Sharjeena stated that she was angry and just wanted Mustafa to "manna" her and then Mustafa said, "yes but that's why I tried calling you and you didn't receive my call". Then Sharjeena gets emotional and admits she got a bit carried away and probably didn't give Mustafa a chance to speak his side. I think this last scene was my favourite as they both opened up to each other emotionally getting off their chest about how they were feeling in the situation.

Does money really buy happiness?

Okay so in retrospect I think the bottom line of the drama was to highlight this statement and show the two sides of the coin. Whilst Adeel & Rubab were showered with materialistic items; it was evident they clearly weren't happy in this relationship. Adeel consistently ran after status and money but also clearly mentioned how he was not happy with Rubab. In Mustafa & Sharjeena's case, they started from rock bottom where Mustafa didn't even have a job but Sharjeena was able to motivate him to take this responsibility. Then when we see the small house they are living in, Sharjeena makes every attempt to make that a home and never once complained. She was happy with the little she had. Repeatedly, she assures Mustafa of this and does not want to let him feel self-conscious of this. It is evident that even when Adeel & Rubab saw Mustafa & Sharjeena together happy how even they questioned how they were happy with barely any of the so-called 'luxuries' of life.

I think the last scene where Sharjeena and Mustafa returned to their home was symbolic of the fact that no matter how much money we earn, it really is the little things in life. They sit on the floor remembering each corner of this house they built together with the little money they did have and just talk to each other light-heartedly after so long. But it is the happiness in both their eyes that is noticeable at this point as they remember that it was exactly under this roof where they learnt to grow and their relationship blossomed.